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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27477499">You're Not a Monster</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mashed_potato_with_cheese/pseuds/mashed_potato_with_cheese'>mashed_potato_with_cheese</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, lycanthropy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:46:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27477499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mashed_potato_with_cheese/pseuds/mashed_potato_with_cheese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Remus turns back, you're determined to make him feel better.<br/>NEUTRAL PRONOUNS FOR READER</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Remus Lupin/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You're Not a Monster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/18043814">A Cure for the Pain</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentmuse/pseuds/ardentmuse">ardentmuse</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is my first time writing gender neutral so if I messed up i'm so sorry! i've proofread but if you see any pronoun mistakes feel free to call me out in the comments.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You have to stay, you’ll make it worse.” Sirius gently pushes you out of the way and heads out the door.</p><p>	“Sirius, I want to help!” you cry after him.</p><p>	“I’m sorry, he made me promise that you’d stay here.” With that, he slips out the door and disappears. You rush after him and jiggle the knob, bang on the wood, anything, but Sirius cast a spell that traps you in the room until he comes back to retrieve you. </p><p>	“Sirius Black!” you yell, banging on the door. “Let me out of this room right now!” A deep silence swallows your protests and offers no response. Tears build in your eyes and you back up from the door.</p><p>	“No, no, no.” Over and over, a one-word plea, almost a prayer. “No, I can’t…” The sobs building up in you take over, cutting you off. As they tear through you, you only have one thought: Remus. </p><p>	Remus, the kind, handsome boy who had stolen your heart. You spent half of your first year alone, until this sunny boy came up to you and offered you a seat with his friends. You’re in seventh year now. These friends, these Marauders, as they called themselves, are the family that you chose for yourself.</p><p>	Sirius, with his mop of curly hair. Always prepared to pull a prank, constantly teasing you and Remus. The brother you never had.</p><p>	James, the very epitome of the “charming bad boy” stereotype. He had his eye on Lily Evans since day one, and of course, he got her. Much like Sirius, he’s protective of you in a way you’ve never been protected before.</p><p>	Lily, your dearest friend. In the group of boys, you find solace in the control she exerts over them. Even on the wildest of days, they fall in line behind her. It fascinates you.</p><p>	Peter, the shy, shrewd boy. Out of all the Marauders, you know the least about him. He’s kind to you, but he never seemed to take you to the way the others did. The best he offers is help with your Potions homework, with which he excels. </p><p>	But your thoughts are not with Sirius, James, Lily, or Peter. They are far gone from your mind, a distant memory in the haze that surrounds you. The only thought clouding your brain is of Remus, the pain he must be feeling. </p><p>	Right off the bat, you knew there was something off about him. The seemingly random disappearances, mood swings, the mysterious scratches and bruises. It wasn’t you began studying lycanthropy that you put it together.</p><p>	Recently, you and the rest of the group went through the process of becoming Animagi in order to help him when he turns. Sirius becomes a great black dog, James transforms into a stag, Peter shrinks into a scampering rat, Lily turns to a doe, and you become a fox, swift and clever. Since all of you just recently became Animagi, this is Remus’s first change in which you have a hope of helping him. As humans, you could never get close enough to cause any real change, but as animals you could at least navigate the area around the Shrieking Shack well enough to keep an eye on him. </p><p>	And yet, here you are, locked in a dorm because Sirius Fucking Black thinks you can’t handle yourself. Remus is going through something terrible that isn’t his fault, that he doesn’t deserve, and you’re nowhere to be found. You left him alone. </p><p>	Another burst of energy hits you and you slam into the door once more. The walls of the room shake, but the door doesn’t budge. A scream of frustration rips through your lungs. You throw your shoulder into the wood, again and again and again. It doesn’t crack, doesn’t give a single centimeter. </p><p>	“Shit, shit, shit.” You sink to the ground, head in your hands, back to the door. Remus, his body changing into that of a wolf, a terrible creature of the night. Remus, losing all control of his mind. Remus, no longer the boy you know but a cold-blooded killer.</p><p>	Remus.</p><p>	A gentle knock on the door rouses you. You’re not sure when you fell asleep, but you’re still on the floor, curled up like you were last night. As you sit up, your joints crack in outrage.</p><p>	“Y/n?” a voice asks softly. It’s Lily.</p><p>	“Yeah, come in.” The door creaks open and Lily timidly steps in. When she sees you on the floor, her eyes cloud with concern and she sits down next to you.</p><p>	“He’s fine. I’m not supposed to tell you, but he’s in the Shrieking Shack.” She offers you a small smile.</p><p>	“Thank you,” you say hurriedly before staggering to your feet and stuffing some Potions stuff into your bag.</p><p>	“What’s that?” Lily asks from behind you.</p><p>	“Oh, uh, just healing stuff.” You brush past her and head out the door.</p><p>	“Y/n?” Lily grabs your hand for a moment. She starts to say something before stopping herself. “If Sirius gives you any trouble, send him to me.” You smile.</p><p>	“Thank you again.” She nods and releases your hand.</p><p>	You rush through the halls, bag slung over your shoulder. The students you pass look at you oddly and you realize you must look insane. Still in yesterday’s disheveled clothes, hair unbrushed, practically running down the halls. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except getting to Remus.</p><p>	Once you make it outside the castle you shift into your Animagus form. There isn’t time to deal with questions about an unkempt student sneaking around. Despite their short legs, foxes move quite quickly, even though you are a bit slowed by the bag slung around your chest. </p><p>	The Whomping Willow takes no notice of a fox slipping around the grounds and makes no moves to knock you around. You slip easily into the passage, bag dragging behind you. Sirius has told you about the tunnel but you’ve never seen it before. It’s dank and shadowy, filled with the sounds of hidden creatures scuttling about. </p><p>	You turn back to yourself when you see a light at the end of the tunnel, adjusting your bag as you crawl. The light gets bigger, bigger, bigger until you’re pulling yourself out of the passage and into an unfamiliar room.</p><p>	Remus is sitting up against the wall, wincing as Sirius inspects a cut on his shoulder. James and Peter are bent over something you can’t see. They look up when you come in.</p><p>	“Y/n?” Remus says. It’s barely more than a whisper.</p><p>	“What the hell are you doing here? Lily told you, didn’t she?” Sirius glares at you.</p><p>	“Yes, she did. I have a right to be here, Sirius,” you practically spit at him. </p><p>	“They’re right. We shouldn’t have kept them away.” James nods at you.</p><p>	“Dammit, James, they’re gonna make it worse,” Sirius yells. “Remus, talk some sense into them.”</p><p>	“Y/n,” Remus repeats. “You shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t see me like this.” His voice is pained. It brings up tears that sting your eyes. </p><p>	“See?” Sirius says bitterly. “Please, y/n, for your own good.” He’s pleading at this point, but you stand your ground and shake your head.</p><p>	“I can handle this. I’m staying.” With that, you set your bag down and go to Remus, sitting next to him gingerly. Up close, you can see the scratches and bites in frightening detail. Sweat beads on his skin, mixing with blood from the wounds. </p><p>	“You look stunning, love,” Remus says absently, leaning his head on your shoulder. You brush his hair out of his face with a soft smile. When you look up, you see all three of the other boys staring at you.</p><p>	“This is the calmest he’s even been,” Peter says almost reverently. You take another look at the boy slumped against you. He looks relaxed, like he just woke up from a restful sleep. </p><p>	“Sirius,” you say, making him look at you. “I can handle this, okay?” You keep your eyes on his, face firm, and he nods eventually.</p><p>	“Ok. Ok, you can handle this. James, let’s go to the castle and get him some fresh clothes. Peter, get some food. Y/n will stay here.” James nods and brings whatever he was working on over to you.</p><p>	“This is a healing draught. We always use it, it’s tried and true.” He smiles. It doesn’t fully reach his eyes.</p><p>	“Thank you.” He nods and slips into the passageway, followed by Peter. Sirius lingers for just a moment before nodding once again, definitively, and heading out. </p><p>	Left alone, you shift Remus so he’s leaning on the wall and grab your bag, pulling out bandages, cloth, and some of your own healing items. The pot that James brought you is filled with a shimmery green liquid that smells like Muggle gasoline. You grimace and dip some into the water bottle you brought before making your way back to the exhausted boy in the corner.</p><p>	“Remus,” you say gently. His eyes flick open slightly. “Can you drink a bit of this for me?” You offer him the bottle. He nods a bit and takes a sip while you mutter reassurances. </p><p>When he finishes about half the bottle, he begins to liven up a bit. You leave him with the bottle and grab a rag, dipping it in water before going about fixing him up. He jolts at the first contact. You jump back.</p><p>	“I’m sorry, I should have warned you, I’m sorry,” you ramble. He silences you by pressing a hand to your skin, cupping your face in his hand. His palm is disturbingly hot.</p><p>	“It’s alright, love, I was just startled.” He smiles at you, drawing a smile from you too. Gently, gently, you tend to his wounds, cleaning up the blood and sweat. He winces occasionally but never makes a sound, never protests. Bit by bit he comes back to you. </p><p>	Having cleaned him up, you get a clean rag and rub healing salve into the cuts and scratches. Its soothing effects are clear, relief etched on his face. When you get to bandaging him, he watches you intently. You blush under his gaze, especially with your hands on his very shirtless chest. </p><p>	“Enjoying the view?” you tease. He chuckles a bit, a deep, gravelly sound. </p><p>	“Always, love. You’re perfect, practically glowing.”</p><p>	“Must be the lighting,” you quip with a grin. He laughs again. You lean a bit closer to him to put a bandage on his forehead, concentrating closely. He smells wonderful, like musk and pine, and you realize just how close you are to him. Your noses are practically touching.</p><p>	“There, all done,” you say with forced lightness. When you start to lean back, he catches the back of your neck with his hand and pulls you to him again.</p><p>	“Come here, love,” he murmurs. You maneuver yourself into his lap, straddling him. With barely an inch of space in between you, he’s intoxicatingly close. His eyes search yours. Cautiously, you run your hands up his arms and clasp them at the nape of his neck. You’re dating Remus, you’ve cuddled before, but this feels… different. </p><p>	“Are you afraid of me?” he asks, almost nervously. You frown. Afraid of Remus?</p><p>	“Of course not. You aren’t scary, Remus, everyone knows you’re a big softie.” You attempt to come off as joking, but the concern in your voice is apparent. </p><p>	“I’m a monster, y/n. You have to know that. I could hurt you, I could kill you.” He looks away from you, but you cup his face in your hands and force him to look you in the eye.</p><p>	“Remus John Lupin, you are not a monster. An unfortunate thing happened to you, and you didn’t deserve it. That does not make you a monster. I made my choice, alright? I met you, and you were this wonderful, bright, kind, handsome boy and I chose to make you a part of me. All of us, James and Peter and Sirius and Lily and you and I, we made ourselves into a little family, and we chose to do that. There’s fucked up things about all of us, but we acknowledge and accept them and move on. Whatever you think you are, you are so much more.” You press your lips to his to punctuate your point. When you pull away, he absently pushes a bit of hair behind your ear.</p><p>	“I love you, y/n,” he says states matter-of-factly. You blink, slightly taken aback. He’s never said it before. When you’re silent, he looks up at you.</p><p>	“Shit, sorry, I shouldn’t have-” he starts to stutter out before you cut him off with another kiss, more passionate this time. </p><p>	“I love you, Remus. I love you so much.” After a moment of shock, he grins and rolls to the side, narrowly missing hitting your head on the wall. One arm still around you, one holding him up, he hovers over you and kisses you once again. </p><p>	“Say it again,” he commands. </p><p>	“I love you, Remus.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and Comments are appreciated &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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